Nobody told me being pregnant can be so hard! I didn't ask anyone about pregnancy before as we weren't planning to have children. It came so suddenly and now I'm already 5 months plus pregnant!
I was struggling to cope and for the start, we had to come to terms with the unexpected news. I felt miserable with my morning sickness especially when there were 2 weeks in that cold gloomy winter I suffered from the flu and couldn't take any medication. Alone at home shivering, feeling the sickest I've ever felt in my entire life! Long gone was my first trimester but I remember when I was packing my clothes away in my wardrobe I couldn't help but feel teary. Walking down the aisle during the Mid Year Sale, pretty dresses brandishing in the window displays did not make me feel any better! I missed my body, missed my health, and my life seemed to be heading towards doom!
However, something miraculous happened. At about 7 weeks, I had my first ultra-sound. I suddenly believe there was a life in there blooming. It looked like a jumping bean and I wonder how that tiny little thing caused so much upset in my life! My morning sickness continued to worsen into my second trimester, I just had to grit my teeth and deal with it. Thankfully, at this stage, I was able to take medication to ease it. I began to look forward to the next time I see that jumping bean.
At about 13 weeks, I had another scan. This time, the foetus was already well in proportion and moving restlessly in the sac. Scratching its ears, face with its tiny fingers, and bouncing around. It was a joy to watch and gave a boost to my maternal instinct which I didn't have before I was pregnant. I guess that woke Cliff's to reality too, that this little thing is growing and growing inside me. Everytime I feel bad about my morning sickness, I'll visualise watching the baby moving playfully in me. It definitely takes away some of my misery!
5 months on, and my morning sickness hasn't weaned...I'm one of the few "lucky" ones who has morning sickness possibly lasting all 3 trimesters! I'm finally getting used to the queasiness, or at least accepting it. I'll just lie in bed, sit beside the toilet, without protesting internally and feeling sorry for myself. Well, it'll be all over...when I fall asleep! Wake up another day, it's the same cycle! It also helped that baby has started to kick me quite frequently so I am reminded of the reality of a beautiful life growing inside me despite of my sufferings.
I had another scan the other week and baby has already developed fully, and as usual, playful. For a few seconds, it gave us the thumbs up! And we also got to know the gender - it's a girl! After that shopping became a whole new experience...every little girl stuff is so much coveted.
Just this morning, the midwife was trying to put the doppler on my tummy, and baby girl was trying to kick it off. She may be going to be a real active one...not sure how this happens when mommy and daddy aren't that active!
