Almost There...

I had my first birth class at the hospital last night. I didn't know what the class was all about but turned up anyway with Cliff. When I had my antenatal physio class a few months before, the preggers from birth class next door seemed like the seniors in school knowing what they were doing albeit waddling around with bigger bellies. Now that I'm "promoted" to the birth class...I realized it was all a misconception on my part - the birthing process is still very much uncontemplatable.

At the start of the class, the midwife went through the symptoms of pregnancy and asked each and everyone of us what we experienced. I suddenly went blank. I couldn't remember...there were so many but I couldn't pinpoint any specific..."Morning sickness?" she asked, I nodded my head diligently. The other preggers contributed to the list spontaneously while I lit up when each point rang a bell. Memories flashed in my head what I went through these 6 months...but how could I forget? The last symptom raised explained it all, "Baby brain!" I must have a lot of that.

But clearly I have forgotten what it was like pre-pregnancy. How my body felt and how I felt about it...it's all in distant memory I can't unearth now. Now I manouvre my way around with my bump...even in my dreams this bump is always with me. I have forgotten the lightness...carefree days...

We were taught the terms of body parts associated with birth so we will know exactly what the doctor and midwife refer to during that time of crisis. We were also shown how to prepare ourselves during the first stage of birth.

Everything is just surreal and makes me nervous knowing how soon I will need to apply this practical knowledge on myself. Now I'm so used to being pregnant, even with the puking which is more like a part of daily routine, it's hard to imagine something else happening to my body.

After 4 months of being at home, I feel guilty about not working. Some mornings I really wish I was going to work...perhaps working will distract me from the woes of pregnancy? I still don't know whether working while pregnant is a good idea. But I really miss the challenges and human interactions. One evening Cliff was beaming during dinner and I asked if he had a good day at work. He told me he had a difficult staff but felt great after mentoring her with effectiveness. He felt he mastered the communication skills he once yearned to possess. I don't know why but it made me jealous I didn't have the opportunity to polish my career skills! When and how I'll have a career or even a job again I don't know. 

Nonetheless, every time when I have a really bad pregnancy day at home I am thankful I could stay home to rest indefinitely while everything is being taken care of by Cliff. A few days ago, I tried cleaning the house and it took me twice as long and it was still half as clean. I was huffing and puffing and after the cleaning I concussed in bed for 3 hours. Gone are the days of efficiency....

First Time Pregnant...

Nobody told me being pregnant can be so hard! I didn't ask anyone about pregnancy before as we weren't planning to have children. It came so suddenly and now I'm already 5 months plus pregnant!

I was struggling to cope and for the start, we had to come to terms with the unexpected news. I felt miserable with my morning sickness especially when there were 2 weeks in that cold gloomy winter I suffered from the flu and couldn't take any medication. Alone at home shivering, feeling the sickest I've ever felt in my entire life! Long gone was my first trimester but I remember when I was packing my clothes away in my wardrobe I couldn't help but feel teary. Walking down the aisle during the Mid Year Sale, pretty dresses brandishing in the window displays did not make me feel any better! I missed my body, missed my health, and my life seemed to be heading towards doom!

However, something miraculous happened. At about 7 weeks, I had my first ultra-sound. I suddenly believe there was a life in there blooming. It looked like a jumping bean and I wonder how that tiny little thing caused so much upset in my life! My morning sickness continued to worsen into my second trimester, I just had to grit my teeth and deal with it. Thankfully, at this stage, I was able to take medication to ease it. I began to look forward to the next time I see that jumping bean.

At about 13 weeks, I had another scan. This time, the foetus was already well in proportion and moving restlessly in the sac. Scratching its ears, face with its tiny fingers, and bouncing around. It was a joy to watch and gave a boost to my maternal instinct which I didn't have before I was pregnant. I guess that woke Cliff's to reality too, that this little thing is growing and growing inside me. Everytime I feel bad about my morning sickness, I'll visualise watching the baby moving playfully in me. It definitely takes away some of my misery!

5 months on, and my morning sickness hasn't weaned...I'm one of the few "lucky" ones who has morning sickness possibly lasting all 3 trimesters! I'm finally getting used to the queasiness, or at least accepting it. I'll just lie in bed, sit beside the toilet, without protesting internally and feeling sorry for myself. Well, it'll be all over...when I fall asleep! Wake up another day, it's the same cycle! It also helped that baby has started to kick me quite frequently so I am reminded of the reality of a beautiful life growing inside me despite of my sufferings.

I had another scan the other week and baby has already developed fully, and as usual, playful. For a few seconds, it gave us the thumbs up! And we also got to know the gender - it's a girl! After that shopping became a whole new experience...every little girl stuff is so much coveted.

Just this morning, the midwife was trying to put the doppler on my tummy, and baby girl was trying to kick it off. She may be going to be a real active one...not sure how this happens when mommy and daddy aren't that active!

Close Encounter of the 3rd Kind Downunder Part II

Alright...that's it. I am chickening out on this one. As soon as I posted Part I, some freaky accident happened again. Another big loss. Now going to put out fire again.

So that's no Part II or whatsoever. To summarize, we were beaten mentally, physically and financially under this unlucky spell. To add the latest, we had had (please stay as past perfect tense!!) at least 8 major accidents, i.e., an accident every 2-3 weeks. One of which was life threatening, immobilizing my hubby in bed for a 2 months, shattered his confidence, and made us put out fire hurriedly for the lost of opportunities incurred.

I consulted a psychic whom only confirmed my fears. When I became so desperate to seek the psychic's help again, I met with an accident while driving to see her, thus, cancelling the appointment. It was a neverending nightmare. Surprisingly, when I couldn't turn up to work quite repetitively because of the accidents, my boss didn't think they were excuses but went back to her church to ask. One day, she walked in and said to me grimly, there was something in our old house. We hadn't told anyone before, in case anyone thought we were crazy with our vivid illusions, but it felt so good that someone whom I saw everyday, knew what we were into. 

On the whole, my relationship with hubby grew stronger to say the least. We have seen the weirdest phenomena and realized how fragile our lives can be under such power. We had only each other to lean on in times of trouble. And we really leaned on each other! We began to see material damages as negligible in life, as long as we have our health back to restart life. I felt my husband, perhaps with so much time to reflect, have become wiser. Both of us used to be perfectionists, and we would be upset when guests break or damage our collections that are irreplacable. Now he would say, "Aiyah, it's just material. Relationships are more important."

The other outcome of these episodes, was also the strengthening of our spiritual beliefs. We aren't religious, but we now respect the spirits and try to have a good Karma so to speak even though we didn't research much into that.

So I would rather dwell in the positives than the negatives of our tumultuous years while I was settling in Brisbane. I still had a good job, great relationship, and beautiful new home to come back to. Our cats which were traumatised were so happy when we finally moved too! The darkest cloud in our lives lifted.

Close Encounter of the Third Kind Downunder Part 1

Of all the physical and emotional aspects I've come prepared to live Downunder, I did not come prepared for paranormal experiences. I have always been travelling alone for work and did come across some weird encounters; I didn't think I would be so taken aback by my one year of gruelling experience encountering "them" while trying to settle down here.

You don't have to believe it, and FYI, I'm not religious. I'm just here to share my experiences and hopefully you will enjoy reading it and don't have to go through it yourself.

PART 1: The Flying Min Min Lights
It was a Halloween moonless night and we were travelling along a highway in NSW in our campervan around midnight. My hubby and I were on one of those long holidays where we would drive all the way along the east coast and stopped wherever we wanted to sight-see.

We hadn't reached our campsite as the campervan had somehow refused to start while we were at the National Park. Once we were back on the road, we had a quick dinner and continued our journey back.

As we drove along the country road, everything was dark and meaningless, occasionally a few wild rabbits would dash across the highway. It wasn't really a grand highway, just a lane in each direction. There was no motorist anywhere in sight in either direction.

Suddenly, we saw some moving objects in the distance. They looked like torches and my hubby's instant reaction was to ask me to check if the windows were up, and all the doors were locked. Earlier in the day, a stranger had tried to climb into the van to pinch things while we stopped for a break. My gut instinct too was telling me whoever that was in front of us, was a mob trying to stop us as the fireballs led onto the side road. As we came closer, the torches appeared to be balls of fire like the ones used by buskers where they swing and juggle simultaneously. The balls were dancing randomly as though the holders were swinging them. After all, it could be one of the ways the Aussies celebrate Halloween? I held my breath back, and tried to think it was just a part of the celebration in a village.

As we approached the lights, as sudden as it appeared, they disappeared. We had the beam light on and surveyed the surrroundings, there was nobody, no houses, just an open field.

I heaved a sigh of relief although at the back of my head, there were unanswered questions. My hubby was quiet too. We kind of mutually dismissed it and went to sleep that night.

The next morning, we had brekkie at a roadside cafe and while I was wandering nearby, I saw a poster on a tree stump that talked about the history of the place. Legend had it that it was discovered by 3 aboriginal brothers who used to hunt at nights with their torches in that area. The last sentence sent a chill down my spine - you could still see their hunting lights sometimes as their spirits live on.

No shit. I tugged on my hubby's sleeve and after reading it, we both looked at each other.

We met an aborginal friend who didn't even lift an eyebrow when we told him what we saw that night. He nodded and said it was Min Min lights. "So what? Some humans you meet while travelling are more terrifying than Min Min." Quite true.

When we finally went home, I began online research. It is on wikipedia so if you really want to know the scientific explanation, there are already articles written on it.

Perhaps it wasn't paranormal as it has already been explained by science. But for us, it was a small but significant event followed by a series of "bad luck" which eventually led our lives in danger...(to be continued.)

My 2 cents on Racism

"I believe we are in danger of being swamped by Asians." - Pauline Hanson.

When I saw Pauline Hanson on The Apprentice Australia, I believe she is a good person despite her anti-Multiculturalism stand. She has her support and that reflects some Australians' sentiments of migrants at that point of time. How can we say we have a politician of the same fierceness, who dares represent Singaporeans' sentiments of migrants these days? Everyone is so politically correct...

Recently, a long time SG friend visited me and she told me about the PRC who stated Singapore has more dogs than people. I thought it's really funny but my friend is clearly upset. This Singapore-PRC tension has been going on for a while I guess.

Sometimes, I wonder if people could see the big picture. Migration is inherent in human nature. There are a few tribes or societies that don't, but most of us are born to migrate. If you trace your family history, there will be a migration somehow in 2-3 generations. Maybe it's just between state, or between countries. Then again countries are just lines drawn out on a map, the earth is round and everything is interconnected. Respect the survivors as we all are trying to ride on the tide of change. And there is nothing to jeer about if someone fails because everyone fails at some point of time.

Back home, friends and family always ask if I experience any racism in Brisbane, the homeground of Pauline Hanson. My sister used to study here back in those days and she thought it was unbearable. I have no idea on the basis that I deal with a few hundred Australians a week. But I could recount one or two incidents of seemingingly racist attempts for as long as I am here. One was an old lady driver swearing at me with her third finger up at a junction during a traffic jam. I had done nothing wrong but she was trying to embarress me at the junction...which I thought it backfired on her. I would say it's an isolated incident. And to be honest I don't even know if she's Australian. Most Australian Australians I have met, are very warm, bearing in mind there are many migrant white races who show racism against Asians than the Aussies. Similar to Singapore, foreigners don't differentiate us between the Singaporeans and the PRs...So what's with Australian's Australians and Singaporean's Singaporean as we were all migrants from the beginning...

I think it's also human nature to protect your own race and group in the environment. And for myself, I would say I tend to trust some races over a few others not just of their skins but the circumstances where they were brought up. There will also be some black sheep in the nicest groups while a few angels in the flock of magpies. I guess it's down to the individuals.

My previous life in Singapore, I had too many nasty incidents to state while being in my own soil considering I was overseas most of time. The moment from landing at Changi Airport to sharing a lift. I felt I was in a hamster cage so populated, everyone is just bickering with one another. The brown hamster fighting with the beige hamster, but they are all hamsters. For the umpteen time, I still hear those racist jokes against Indians, Malays or Chinese amongst Singaporeans. So if you really ask me if Brisbane is full of racist people, I would say in turn, Singapore is full of discriminatory people, albeit Singaporeans, PR and other migration workers. Elite schools against neighborhood schools. Private home owners vs. HDB dwellers. But they are still hamsters. As my hubby puts it, there is more important things to worry in life. So why this tension? One stops being nasty, the other will follow (I know a few will not) but just best of luck to these people in their future endeavours...We are not hamsters, so stop thinking like one!

Becoming a First Aider

The thought of becoming a First Aider didn't cross my mind until a string of accidents struck us last year. My hubby was already a First Aider as it was one of his job requirements and his company often sent him to those refresher courses. But when he turned the victim, I was so lost.

One beautiful morning, I was doing facial and my hubby decided to instal some IKEA cabinets in an empty room. I went downstairs to see how he was doing and saw there was a ladder and a pair of scissors on the floor. As he told me he was going to keep his tools, I suddenly heard a thud. He had tripped over the ladder and somehow, the pair of scissors sliced his foot. At that point of time, we couldn't tell how badly he was injured but blood was spurting out of the gap. We could see some white tissues but not sure if those are fats or bones.

He didn't feel a thing though, and part of it he was in shock lying on the floor. I had to act quickly and used whatever limited First Aid knowledge I learnt in Home Econs, raised the leg and suddenly remembered not long before, I received a First Aid kit as a gift from my insurance company. Thank God! I opened it and couldn't differentiate the various bandages. So I just applied everything I could find to stop the blood. Later I was told by the medics I used an eye patch. Anyway, my bandage looked like a wreck itself and it was quickly turning red with blood. I had to get help.

My next door neighbour is a nurse and my back neighbours are paramedics with an ambulance in their garage and sometimes work from home. I was still in my pyjamas and removed my facial mask as I ran knocking on their doors. No one answered. I think that was the only time both families weren't at home and I needed their expertise! Bad luck! I raced back to my house, remembered the emergency number on the sticker the council sent us, and dialed. I was panting when I spoke to operator, and to make things more complicated, I just moved into a new neighbourhood and she didn't have the street names. She kept asking me, "Is that an emergency or do you just need an ambulance?" I was very confused by her question, so I said I don't know but I need an ambulance because I couldn't move him myself. The phone conversation was very confusing for me and I later learnt in my First Aid course there is a set of information the caller should give so they can make the right decision. I was confusing the operator.

She told me the ambulance will arrive in a few minutes, then a few minutes later the medics on the ambulance called me to say they will arrive in a few minutes. So it took 20 minutes for an emergency. About the time I could drive him to the hospital. Interestingly, there is a report on the news that the average responding time is 20 minutes in QLD if you're lucky. So we were damn lucky. When our angel paramedics arrived, they told me to meet them at "The Hospital". I remembered once our friend pointed out to us excitedly that he could see the hospital from our balcony, so I asked if that was it.

To cut the story short, my hubby had an emergency operation which didn't happen until 2 days later because they were all packed in a non-peak period and he had some permanent nerve damage. He booked me on a First Aid course after that. I dreaded reading the 120 page manual, but the practical course itself was more interesting than I thought.

Looking back with my new First Aid knowledge, I could have done a bit more. To stop his blood from spurting all over our new carpet, I could have used a cling wrap. It's easier to wrap as his foot was split. I could have talked to the operator more efficiently and she would have acted more decisively.

We asked some professional cleaners about getting rid of the blood that soaked through our light colored carpet and they all said it can't be done! I had to experiment a few solutions, thankfully, I found a solution that works wonders.

Back to the First Aid course, it was very useful especially when we're stuck Downunder. The instructor had 20 odd years experience as a paramedics and he told us to use the tools that are available around us to save people. I wouldn't imagine myself saving anyone but who knows another accident may strike?

I remember a few years back, I was holidaying with my hubby and mom, and as we were walking near a road junction, we saw this pair of young girls on a motorbike and suddenly there was a a shrieking sound of metal against metal. I thought it rained a bit until I saw there was splatter of blood on myself. A sedan had crashed onto the bike, ran over them. It was not a crowded junction so we had to jump in. I couldn't do much so I directed the traffic to prevent them from running over the girls. One girl was unconscious and we didn't know whether to touch her. Finally the driver decided to lift her and send her to the hospital. It was a risky decision as she would have suffered spinal injury. I don't know what happened to the girl. If I had First Aid then, I would have done the right thing.

I have to work on my knowledge of Australian animals. In the First Aid course, we were trained to treat different stings and bites. We were shown a few pictures of the aftermath of animal attacks, but no way, I am going to tell the difference in real life.

I really had no extra time to do the First Aid course, but had to go through the mill to fit in time because I know how important it is. There is no excuse because accidents also happen without excuse. I just wish I had done it earlier!

Ask me a question and I'll have a blog post!

I have to admit, this is a random blog. For how long, I have NO IDEA! Just that, everyone seems to have a blog to "share" so I may contribute to the online community? And I hope I can remember my username and password...*cross fingers*

During my mother's days of managing the household, she learnt mostly from radio or TV. How to dress, what to eat, where to go, and even what to think...Nothing much has changed, except the internet is an indefinite source of "Expert advices"....but to be fair, sometimes the most commonest people offer the best solutions compared to the "experts".

I'm not giving any advice because seriously I can't. But if you ask me a question, I may offer you some personal insights to what I have learnt, experienced in my life, or share with you my mother's recipes.